HOW To Discuss

Some may be wondering why I gave a shout-out to the King City Police for their help today. I am always glad to see especially a small municipality choose to allocate their resources in ways that are helpful, and providing food to those who are in need and cannot go out is a great service. So, thanks for that decision, King City. 

You who know me know I am a social scientist and one thing that we social scientists really like is civil discourse. It turns out that my shout-out to the King City Police generated a pretty lively discussion, which is not really surprising, given the current social climate. For social scientists, when everyone doesn't agree - we're ok with that. So what I would like to do is talk about HOW to discuss things about which there is disagreement.

When I am teaching my students how to discuss controversial issues, there are rules. (When I explain the rules, I use first-person examples.) One of the rules is that no one gets to discount the experience of another. And that includes “whataboutism”. That’s when someone says something, and I reply with “yes, but what about…”. Nope. What is appropriate is for me to say “I am sorry that happened to you”. Or “that must have been tough”. Or “that sounds like a difficult situation”. Or, maybe to not say anything, and to ponder what the other person has said.

Another rule is that, as a white woman of privilege, I do not get to talk over a person of color when they are discussing their reality. So that means I do not talk over Jarra. And I do not talk over Eddie. Even though I have nieces who are women of color. And even though I have friends who are POC. And even though I have students who are POC. And even if I have gone out of my way to become educated and well-read. I still will never know what their experience is. Why? Because I cannot experience it myself. Now, please understand I am not talking about empathy. Yes, I can learn to empathize. But I cannot ever KNOW their experience. So it is not my place to tell them what is really so. I can speak to what I know personally, but I cannot speak to what they know. And what I know does not negate what they know.

Everyone is at a different place in their journey, and everyone’s journey is influenced by their experiences. I grew up with a father who worked as a police detective. He helped put people in prison who bilked old folks out of their life’s savings. He helped Southeast Asian immigrants in Portland keep their businesses afloat when they were being threatened by organized crime protection rackets. He investigated robberies and murders. So that is often the lens through which I have seen the police. But that is also my lens of being a white woman of privilege, who has never been threatened or violated by the police. We are seeing a much more militaristic and reactive police culture now than that in which my dad worked. The training is very different than when he used to teach at the police academy. And POC are disproportionately arrested and imprisoned. According to the UN, in 2016 27% of arrests in the US were of Black individuals, while the Black population of the US was 13%. Black and Hispanic Americans make up 29% of the overall population, but are 59% of the US prison population. These are just two statistics that are indicative of the huge systemic problem with race and American policing, and we haven't even looked at the historic role of policing and the Black community. This is the crux of the outcry against policing in the US. In the discussion thread on my post, Eddie says that by saying ACAB “we are not referring to the Person who is the cop. Cop is not an identity, it’s a uniform that a person chooses to put on every day. And with that choice comes complicity in a system that is BUILT on the oppression of Black bodies. So no, your uncle Steve who’s a cop isn’t a bad guy, but by being a cop he is choosing the side of the oppressor…”. Food for thought. Challenging concepts. Ideas for discussion. But not for “whataboutism”. And not for “my dad was a cop, and so I am an expert”. Or “I know Black people, and so I can speak for them”. And not "but not all cops..." Nope.

So, my request is that those who choose to post on my page follow the rules that I feel are important. And if you are not comfortable with my rules, feel free to post on another page.